Dressing

The first lesson you will have: Dress well

Humans are are far from homogeneous, even internally. We are an exercise in dynamics. If we want to change something, we must start someplace and it can be internal or external, or some combination.

So we start here with the outside, and the first and easiest step is to begin dressing well.

Go to your wardrobe and look at each piece (this can take a while for some of us). Make a few catagories.

Anything ripped or torn, set aside. This should also include mismatched socks. If it is mendable (a torn pant cuff or a ripped seam) set it someplace to get mended. If cloth is worn through, just get rid of it. Perhaps save a comfortable sweater or a T-shirt for art projects etc, but for the most part, get rid of the rest. This is the pile that gets thrown away.

Also set aside anything in good condition but you don't wear, won't wear or doesn't fit what you want to be. Through with your stonewashed jeans period? Holiday sweater your aunt gave you? That pair of shoes that look great but tear your feet apart? Do yourself a favor and lose them. You don't need it. This stack will get donated to your local thrift store, or perhaos gifted away, but gets removed somehow.

Be cruel to your clothing here. If you aren't sure about something, ask a friend, lover, roommate, sibling or random stranger. Better to pare down a little too much than to have something unfortunate.

Now look at what you have left. Coordinate a few outfits and decide what you might need to buy. Don't go for the standard fashion if you don't want to, but make sure you look nice. Decide what looks you want for everyday, what for the club and what to relax. Your clothes are reflective of you, so they are important.

When you shop, don't think it's all Hot Topic. Thrift stores, department stores and even Target/Walmart can have good pieces. Just make sure you buy high quality, nicely fitting clothes. Well fit clothes will look better on all body types, thick or thin, tall or short.

On the topic of black, it is a must for Goth, but it is not the end all, and not all blacks are equal. Pick blacks that go with your complexion, cool for pale skin, warm for darker. You can wear cool blacks with swarthier tones for a more startling contrast, but do so with discretion. Also, there are times to be monochromatic and times not to be. Black and a color (and here, white is a color) can be pulled off well and highlight the color, making it stand out, so choose your colors carefully. Jewel tones work well, but avoid soft pastels. Neon colors work, especially when UV reactive. Ingeneral, stay relatively two-tone. Black and a color, or Black+white and a color. So for instance, Black slacks, White shirt, blue tie w/ blue vest works, even if in variant shades (don't mix your cools and warms). Black slacks, blue shirt, green tie, red jacket = seriously un-goth. Coordinate.

Learn to Iron. Use this skill. At a minimum Tumble press your clothes.

What will the result of all this be? You will look in the mirror and see yourself in your nice clothes and know that you look good. Your confidence will build and you will feel the difference in knowing that you are dressed well and you clothes help show how good you look. People will notice you in a good way and you will feel better. The inside shall reflect the outside, and this will make the outside look even better.

Dress well, and you will know that you are showing the world how awesome you really are.

Preliminaries

Apologies for the delay in starting. Outside life intruded.

Before we get started, there are a few preparations you have to make, and some things you need to know.

First, never do anything listed that will make you or anyone else truly uncomfortable or disturbed, and do not truly hurt yourself or anyone in any sort of way. Some of the exercises will involve touching things or people, facing some discomforting emotions and even physical pain. Don't take these beyond what you yourself can handle. Push the limits, yes, because this is what we are aiming for, but we are NOT looking for lasting harm, and never to harm anyone else. Be mindful of your limits and of those you choose to include in any exercise, and know the difference between pushing them and breaking yourself or others.

Second, as with anything, take what you want from this, and leave the rest. Revisit, and move at your own pace. You are yourself, and not anyone else.